“My dad is always telling me what he does for me” he said in a tone riddled with sarcasm. “I wish he’d do less for me and more with me.”
And remember, punishment has impact because of its certainty, not because of its severity.
Don’t praise the child, but do praise what the child is doing. Say, “It’s good you’re sitting quietly” rather than “You are a good boy for sitting quietly.”
“Remember, we say only positive things about ourselves”
... the most important factor was unconditional love. High-self-esteem children came from backgrounds that provided the kind of love that expresses respect, concern and acceptance. Children were accepted for their strengths and weaknesses. It was clearly love with no strings attached.
What you believe about your child’s worth becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. In other words, children become what you believe they will become.
What children hear, they believe. The messages are later played back and become a reference for what a child believes about himself. This tape makes up a child’s inner language. For better or for worse, that child has been programmed.
Focus your praise not on the way the task was done, but on the fact that it was attempted or completed. If you want him to improve the way he does a particular task, show him, as opposed to telling him.
from the book
How to Develop Self-Esteem in Your Child
(Betty Youngs)
No comments:
Post a Comment